Dear daddy,
It still doesn't feel real. I don't know if it ever truly will. You were always just there, and my heart can't accept that you are really gone. I cry a lot when I'm alone because it just hurts so bad to not be able to joke with you, hug you, or even just watch old TV shows with you. We had taken to watching Bonanza together in the afternoons. I'd ask you questions about what was going to happen in each episode. I remember every time The Outlaw Josey Wales came on, I'd ask if you'd ever seen that one knowing full well that it was one of your favorite movies ever. You'd always respond with a, "nah, don't think I have," and we would laugh.
More than anything I just want you back. You were taken from me far too soon, and my heart and mind can't handle it. It tears me up to think that Tyler won't hardly remember you and how great you were, and none of my future children will get the opportunity to know their kind, talented, and wise Grandaddy.
I've had a hard time believing in God and Heaven since you were snatched from my life, but I do so hope that you somehow can hear me or feel my pain and love.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to try to accept, and I thought nothing could ever be more painful and heart wrenching than losing a child. I love you dearly and miss you greatly. My heart is so broken; I don't know how to begin mending it.
Love always,
Jen
